Rainy Day Blues

It's a well known fact that Sundays get me down, I mean I have to go to work the next day...I guess we all do.  But add to that a rainy day at home.  At first I thought let's watch a movie so we did.  A Star is Born with Barbara Streisand from the 70s.  It used to be one of my favs.  The songs started happening and I was taken back to my childhood where I knew that whole soundtrack.  I was happy and singing along with them.  Then it started to go downhill.  John Norman cheats on Esther then he dies in a car accident and I started crying behind my pillow so Miji wouldn't think I was crazy...as an adult I have to say it's a sad movie!  It ended and I was happy then my casseroles were done.  I took one to adri and her boyfriend and then I got sad again.  She's always over there and antt's always with his fiance and my grandbaby and I started missing the kids (even though it's glorious having the whole house to ourselves)yes, I do miss them sometimes.  The kids are getting older and it's just how life goes.  So then we eat my glorious casserole and let me tell you, yes it was glorious.  Back to thinking...ugh I'm fat and this yummy crunchy goodness is not helping.  I cleaned the kitchen and thought while mijis playing batman I'm gonna pinterest.  Another bad idea...pins of cute clothes for skinny girls, pretty actresses who are thin and then yummy recipes, I'm never going to be as skinny as those pretty girls to get in those clothes because of all the damn good recipes. Now as I sit here at close to 6pm I'm realizing the weekend is close to an end...Sunday blues go away:(

It's Ok...

My brother tells me I'm like my mother.  I think he's right.  My mom is a worrier, at least she used to be.  I'm noticing a lot more as I get older I get crazy worried about crazy things. Plumbing makes me crazy.  I guess that areas from issues when I owned a home and plumbing was a constant issue.  That whole house had issues but plumbing there was Mickey mouse and just messed up.  Now when there's a hint of a drip or the smallest leak I freak out.  We had an issue come up with our taxes we just did and my imagination and worries started running wild...only to find out it was a number in the wrong place.  I tried to downsize my purse and then panicked about a bill I thought I forgot about which wouldn't have been a problem in my big purse where I carry checkbooks,check registers and my handy monthly excel spreadsheet which lists everything there but my little purse didn't have all that inside.  I couldn't wait to get home to check on it and was relieved to find out everything was ok.  I worry about the kids when they're not around, about their futures.  I worry about miji driving everyday and we'll I guess you could say I worry about a lot.
For so long I never had someone in my life I could turn to to tell all my worries to who would tell me it's ok, who would tell me that were in this together.  The first time around it was like I had 3 kids.  I felt like I had to figure everything out myself.  I sometimes try and be that person still until Miji reminds me that I don't have to be the one to figure everything out and that we are in this together. I guess I'll always worry but at least I'll have him to tell me that everything is going to be ok and what can be better than that to a worrier like me:)

Time Flies...

It's hard to believe that at this time next month we will be on real babywatch! It seems as if only yesterday that my first born baby, my son was just a baby himself and now almost 21 years later he's going to be a Daddy.  It's weird how things change, how fast time seems to fly even when it doesnt.  There are so many things that I want to tell him to teach him about a family about raising a little girl, about so much.  But then again I don't want it to turn into a lecture as it will probably sound to him. I remember when I was pregnant with him and I heard those"lectures".  I didn't want to hear it and I just had to find out on my own only to realize that all those things my parents told me were right.  I wonder if he will ever reflect on the things I told him someday when he's old and I'm no longer here and he's watching his kids become parents....my how time flies.

It's All About Love

Today is Friday the 13th! Most people are superstitious about this date and try to avoid crazy things like black cats. For me it is a day that I feel is lucky. I met my Husband on Friday the 13th and that turned out to be the best luck ever! Today is also the day where people everywhere are scrambling to find the perfect gift for their significant other-(Ugh wasn't Christmas just two months ago?). For ladies in the office they will be waiting to see if a beautiful flower arrangement is delivered to them, and if not they get sad. When I was younger I used to think that I wanted a guy that would send me flowers, buy me chocolate, wine me and dine me and have rose petals leading to the candlelit bedroom. Now just thinking about that makes me laugh now that I am older. I think of it this way...Flowers are a waste of money, they die a few days later. Though I love chocolate I don't want a whole box of it because then I will get more fat and feel bad about myself. The wine-well, you can still give me that and maybe even dinner too, but just not out at a fancy restaurant where we will have to wait a long time to be seated in an overcrowded restaurant. As for the rose petals, that's just a mess I will have to sweep up later and I am so tired when I get home that I will probably fall asleep with the candle on which will pose a fire danger overnight...phew that was exhausting! The person from my past would find a vase laying around the house somewhere, put a few carnations in it and take them to my work. I am sorry to say that it usually looked sad and pitiful next to the beautiful flower arrangements all the other girls in the office were getting-so ya, Valentine's Day used to make me cringe. I remember I would always tell him that I never had a heart pendant necklace and that one Valentine's Day I would love to get one of those. 19 years passed and that never happened. I met my wonderful husband three years ago on January 13th and a month later would be Valentine's Day. He had beautiful flowers delivered to my office-red roses-my favorite. He bought me lotion and perfume from bath and body works and he handed me a little box. I had only known him one month and when I opened that little box there was the heart pendant that I had always wanted and it brought tears to my eyes. He had listened to me more in one month than the past person had for 19 years. It touched my heart and he continues to touch it every day. I have this wonderful man in my life who flatters me each day, who loves me with every fiber of his being and that means more to me than any fancy dinner, beautiful flower arrangement or anything else money can buy. Love is really what Valentine's day is about and if you have someone in your life who loves you whether it's a significant other, family, friend or pet then you are truly blessed not just on February 14th but every day.

Don't hate us...they're coming soon...

As you may know by my continuous postings of wedding photos and countdown for the last year, I got married in July. What a beautiful ad happy day it was. We planned so much for about a year and then it was gone too fast. Good thing there are pictures and a video so that I can remember our beautiful day. That was now almost a half a year ago and I have a confession...I still haven't sent out the thank you cards. I know what you're thinking,I am totally awful,right? I have them all written out and I have excuse that I do still need some addresses. I know, you're probably right um, shouldn't you have those addresses from when you sent the invitations? I would answer no. We sent out so many invitations, some at my house, some other places. My point is I need addresses...and stamps. I started to think we still had time. I truly thought the etiquette was that we had a year...but I was wrong...it was 3 to 4 months. Oh no I thought....I'm past due...people are going to hate us! So then I thought...Christmas cards. Why not send the thank you notes with Christmas cards so we could accomplish two tasks at once...good idea right...oh no I still need addresses! It's a goal I have to get this to happen, but now Christmas is so close...can I do it? So I would ask my FB friends and family, if you were at my wedding and are still waiting on a thank you note, please don't hate us...it's coming soon....hopefully by Christmas...and before Valentine's day. Cross your fingers!

30....29...

Okay now were down to the wire....30 days left until we hear wedding bells. Its funny because I have a countdown clock on my phone and it updates the day everyday at 5:00 pm. I go to work with one number and I come back with another. Today I left with it being 30 and at 5 its 29. Wow, can you believe it? It seems as if I've been on my wedding day countdown forever, maybe I have. Many of you who know me know my upcoming marriage is my second marriage, and im here to tell you it will be my last. Everything that makes me feel bridal right now I've never felt before. This feels like my first time. I never had the beautiful white gown, a wedding party of 25, flower girl, ring bearer, real flowers. I find myself giddy and excited and incredibly happy and in love. This is the man I was meant to be with, I truly believe he's my soul mate. We met 2 1/2 years ago and were as much in love as we were then, even more. So here on this 30th soon to be 29th day of my wedding countdown I can barely think of anything else. Please forgive me for my wedding posts and pictures. Im sure you all get tired of them but what can I say...im marrying the man of my dreams and that makes me the luckiest girl in my world!

49 Days Left

As I write this I am looking around thinking of all I have to do before our big day. At the end of next week we're having a Graduation Open House for Adri. Yes, she's finally done with school, she worked hard and pulled it off, just like I knew she could. Lots to do in June...graduations, birthdays, bachelor parties, bridal showers and checklists. I have mental checklists, checklists in my wedding binder and though I'm getting closer to checking things off, there are all the little things I need to do. We get response cards in the mail now pretty much every day, its exciting and me and Miji open them up together to see who's coming. I had my final dress fitting last week and it was amazing. I cant wait to wear it as I walk down the aisle to my Miji. There's wedding rehearsal, honeymoon planning and just so many details to pull together. I haven't really had too many bridezilla moments but I'm sure as the time continues to fly by, I might! So 49 days...let's do this!