I Love LA

Years ago for many years in a row we made our way to Los Angeles so that the kids father could participate in the LA Marathon. It usually took him on average about 5 hours to complete. During the time he was trekking the streets of LA, the kids and I had our own plans. We would walk up and down downtown LA streets, visit interesting buildings or landmarks and eat at Grand Central Market. It was truly a bonding experience that the 3 of us grew to love. During one of these annual trips I remember being at Staples Center and looking across to see the beginning phase of what seemed like a huge construction project. We learned it was going to be the future home of a mega entertainment complex called LA Live. I remember thinking at the time that He and I would probably go there one day when it was finished with happy intentions at first, but by the end of the evening we'd be fighting, because that's what usually always happened when just the two of us would venture out alone. I remember seeing the crane there in the middle of this building phase and wondering when it would be done and where would I be in my life but then I would place those thoughts aside because more than likely I would still be there, just existing. I don't get to Los Angeles too much even though it's just an hour away and when we do head out that way, we usually end up in Hollywood or in Santa Monica. The last time I had been to downtown LA was during those marathon days during that construction project, until this past weekend. Anthony bought Miji and I LA Kings hockey tickets as a Christmas present. We got there early so we could have dinner and drinks before the game. I was mesmerized by the after of that construction project from way back when and what it had become, it was my epiphany. As he held my hand leading me through the crowd I suddenly got very emotional and my eyes began to water. I told Miji that this weird. He asked what I meant and I told him that the last time I was here my life was so different and not in a good place and now here I was with him, my soulmate. It was as if my life represented this construction project that was a big mess at first but then changed into this awesomely finished shiny, bright place. It was a weird feeling and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Tomorrow marks four years that I met my wonderful husband. We had connected on match.com and had been texting and talking on the phone. We decided to meet for lunch. As I waited to go inside to macaroni Grill in my car he pulled into the stall directly in front of mine and I knew it was him instantly. I turned away so he didn't see me and I got out of my car slowly following him inside and watching him straighten his shirt and look in the window at his own reflection to make sure everything was in place. We first met inside the restaurant and gave each other a hug before we were escorted to our table where we would talk, laugh, and get to know each other as we playfully flirted. We walked around Bev-mo together looking for a wine I had told him I was looking for and then we left my car in the parking lot as we drove together to happy hour at another restaurant. Our first kiss was in his car as we waited for a light to change green by Sam's Club, we drove around just so that first date didn't have to end. It was truly magical and something I remember just like it was yesterday. That was along the beginning of my road to happiness when I was the beginning phase of my own construction project. Since then I have emerged just like the end result of LA Live. I never thought that I would be in a marriage where name calling and fighting didn't exist. I feel loved and appreciated everyday. Miji inspires and encourages me as a person. There could be 100 beautiful women around and he makes me feel like I am prettier than all of them. He is my Prince Charming and each day I feel blessed that God put him not only into my life but also that he's there for my kids to encourage, care for and love them as well. My time in LA this past weekend made me reflect on old memories of me and the kids as Miji and I made new memories.

Amanda

I was lying in bed thinking of my mom the other day as we watched a new show on TV. The episode was titled OLD PEOPLE and it was about how we treat our parents as they get older. After watching it, I felt guilty like I need to spend more time with my mom. I have so many memories of my mother from when we were growing up and thinking about them now just makes me laugh, but back then, she totally made me crazy! I remember my mom took some time off after her mother died and I was home with her one day. I must have been about 9 and I was being an extreme little maniac. My mom gave me plenty of warnings that I ignored. She disappeared into her room and emerged with my dads five inch thick leather belt. She had it in for me and she was going to beat my butt! The funny thing is she couldn't catch me, although she tried. I darted in and around and over and under the furniture. Finally in her frustrated state she stopped and she was about to give up until she saw Amanda. Amanda was this little blonde haired white doll that I carried everywhere. I thought it was funny because my mom was always trying to make us declare we were white (we were also half Mexican) but we never would say that we were white. We would say We are Mexican and it would drive my little Caucasian mother crazy! Back to the story... So there was Amanda just laying on the coffee table and my mom took one look at her and one look at me and she started beating Amanda! I started screaming "You're killing my baby!" and she smiled kind of wickedly and kept on. I remember Amanda had those creepy dolls eyes that would close when she was laying down and open when she was sitting up and I remember her little eyes opening and closing as she was being plopped all around the coffee table with a belt. I really got lucky that day. Who could blame her for smacking the crap out of my doll...better her than me! I understood when I got older I mean her mom had just passed away and she was filled with grief on top of having a daughter who was a maniac! Lots of stories about my mother. She is quirky and does things we don't understand. She thinks Bakers egg and cheese burritos are the best thing ever. She thinks all that you can do on a smartphone is cool. She asks us to make copies of the CD we play as she rides in my car (it's music on my Bluetooth. She carries certificates of authenticity for her jewelry in her purse (just for shits and giggles I guess. She puts our names on her things with post its so we know who gets it when she is no longer here. She tells us how her AOL account is acting up (YES! They do still have AOL in case you didn't know-I know I didn't know that! She once made a turkey and a chocolate cake just for dinner for her and her hubby. Lots of memories of my mom. There was a time I never knew if I would see her again when she lived in Texas, but sad circumstances brought her back and now she is here just 15 minutes away. My mom might drive me crazy but looking back at my Amanda story, I know she put up with me when I drove her crazy.

Rainy Day Blues

It's a well known fact that Sundays get me down, I mean I have to go to work the next day...I guess we all do.  But add to that a rainy day at home.  At first I thought let's watch a movie so we did.  A Star is Born with Barbara Streisand from the 70s.  It used to be one of my favs.  The songs started happening and I was taken back to my childhood where I knew that whole soundtrack.  I was happy and singing along with them.  Then it started to go downhill.  John Norman cheats on Esther then he dies in a car accident and I started crying behind my pillow so Miji wouldn't think I was crazy...as an adult I have to say it's a sad movie!  It ended and I was happy then my casseroles were done.  I took one to adri and her boyfriend and then I got sad again.  She's always over there and antt's always with his fiance and my grandbaby and I started missing the kids (even though it's glorious having the whole house to ourselves)yes, I do miss them sometimes.  The kids are getting older and it's just how life goes.  So then we eat my glorious casserole and let me tell you, yes it was glorious.  Back to thinking...ugh I'm fat and this yummy crunchy goodness is not helping.  I cleaned the kitchen and thought while mijis playing batman I'm gonna pinterest.  Another bad idea...pins of cute clothes for skinny girls, pretty actresses who are thin and then yummy recipes, I'm never going to be as skinny as those pretty girls to get in those clothes because of all the damn good recipes. Now as I sit here at close to 6pm I'm realizing the weekend is close to an end...Sunday blues go away:(

It's Ok...

My brother tells me I'm like my mother.  I think he's right.  My mom is a worrier, at least she used to be.  I'm noticing a lot more as I get older I get crazy worried about crazy things. Plumbing makes me crazy.  I guess that areas from issues when I owned a home and plumbing was a constant issue.  That whole house had issues but plumbing there was Mickey mouse and just messed up.  Now when there's a hint of a drip or the smallest leak I freak out.  We had an issue come up with our taxes we just did and my imagination and worries started running wild...only to find out it was a number in the wrong place.  I tried to downsize my purse and then panicked about a bill I thought I forgot about which wouldn't have been a problem in my big purse where I carry checkbooks,check registers and my handy monthly excel spreadsheet which lists everything there but my little purse didn't have all that inside.  I couldn't wait to get home to check on it and was relieved to find out everything was ok.  I worry about the kids when they're not around, about their futures.  I worry about miji driving everyday and we'll I guess you could say I worry about a lot.
For so long I never had someone in my life I could turn to to tell all my worries to who would tell me it's ok, who would tell me that were in this together.  The first time around it was like I had 3 kids.  I felt like I had to figure everything out myself.  I sometimes try and be that person still until Miji reminds me that I don't have to be the one to figure everything out and that we are in this together. I guess I'll always worry but at least I'll have him to tell me that everything is going to be ok and what can be better than that to a worrier like me:)

Time Flies...

It's hard to believe that at this time next month we will be on real babywatch! It seems as if only yesterday that my first born baby, my son was just a baby himself and now almost 21 years later he's going to be a Daddy.  It's weird how things change, how fast time seems to fly even when it doesnt.  There are so many things that I want to tell him to teach him about a family about raising a little girl, about so much.  But then again I don't want it to turn into a lecture as it will probably sound to him. I remember when I was pregnant with him and I heard those"lectures".  I didn't want to hear it and I just had to find out on my own only to realize that all those things my parents told me were right.  I wonder if he will ever reflect on the things I told him someday when he's old and I'm no longer here and he's watching his kids become parents....my how time flies.

It's All About Love

Today is Friday the 13th! Most people are superstitious about this date and try to avoid crazy things like black cats. For me it is a day that I feel is lucky. I met my Husband on Friday the 13th and that turned out to be the best luck ever! Today is also the day where people everywhere are scrambling to find the perfect gift for their significant other-(Ugh wasn't Christmas just two months ago?). For ladies in the office they will be waiting to see if a beautiful flower arrangement is delivered to them, and if not they get sad. When I was younger I used to think that I wanted a guy that would send me flowers, buy me chocolate, wine me and dine me and have rose petals leading to the candlelit bedroom. Now just thinking about that makes me laugh now that I am older. I think of it this way...Flowers are a waste of money, they die a few days later. Though I love chocolate I don't want a whole box of it because then I will get more fat and feel bad about myself. The wine-well, you can still give me that and maybe even dinner too, but just not out at a fancy restaurant where we will have to wait a long time to be seated in an overcrowded restaurant. As for the rose petals, that's just a mess I will have to sweep up later and I am so tired when I get home that I will probably fall asleep with the candle on which will pose a fire danger overnight...phew that was exhausting! The person from my past would find a vase laying around the house somewhere, put a few carnations in it and take them to my work. I am sorry to say that it usually looked sad and pitiful next to the beautiful flower arrangements all the other girls in the office were getting-so ya, Valentine's Day used to make me cringe. I remember I would always tell him that I never had a heart pendant necklace and that one Valentine's Day I would love to get one of those. 19 years passed and that never happened. I met my wonderful husband three years ago on January 13th and a month later would be Valentine's Day. He had beautiful flowers delivered to my office-red roses-my favorite. He bought me lotion and perfume from bath and body works and he handed me a little box. I had only known him one month and when I opened that little box there was the heart pendant that I had always wanted and it brought tears to my eyes. He had listened to me more in one month than the past person had for 19 years. It touched my heart and he continues to touch it every day. I have this wonderful man in my life who flatters me each day, who loves me with every fiber of his being and that means more to me than any fancy dinner, beautiful flower arrangement or anything else money can buy. Love is really what Valentine's day is about and if you have someone in your life who loves you whether it's a significant other, family, friend or pet then you are truly blessed not just on February 14th but every day.

Don't hate us...they're coming soon...

As you may know by my continuous postings of wedding photos and countdown for the last year, I got married in July. What a beautiful ad happy day it was. We planned so much for about a year and then it was gone too fast. Good thing there are pictures and a video so that I can remember our beautiful day. That was now almost a half a year ago and I have a confession...I still haven't sent out the thank you cards. I know what you're thinking,I am totally awful,right? I have them all written out and I have excuse that I do still need some addresses. I know, you're probably right um, shouldn't you have those addresses from when you sent the invitations? I would answer no. We sent out so many invitations, some at my house, some other places. My point is I need addresses...and stamps. I started to think we still had time. I truly thought the etiquette was that we had a year...but I was wrong...it was 3 to 4 months. Oh no I thought....I'm past due...people are going to hate us! So then I thought...Christmas cards. Why not send the thank you notes with Christmas cards so we could accomplish two tasks at once...good idea right...oh no I still need addresses! It's a goal I have to get this to happen, but now Christmas is so close...can I do it? So I would ask my FB friends and family, if you were at my wedding and are still waiting on a thank you note, please don't hate us...it's coming soon....hopefully by Christmas...and before Valentine's day. Cross your fingers!